180 Change

I love going to pick up my son from my  parents house after a long day at work feeling like my head is going to explode and have him be a silly sweet little angel. Wait a minute, a silly sweet little angel? Where did this guy come from? Didn’t I want to throw him out the car window just 24 hours earlier? It amazes me how different things can be from one day to the next. But seeing him sitting on the floor with a 1980s toy that you pull the handle and the center arrow spins while making the animal sound from wherever it started at, making the same animal sound right after. Hearing him do a pig for the first time, instead of the “la la la” like the singing pig from his book, attempting to do a rooster sound which was HILARIOUS, and doing a goose sound for the first time just made my crappy day melt away! And the fact he could sit there and do it over and over again, loving ever moment of it! This was the little boy I loved. 

We rushed home that night instead of hanging out with my parents, since he needed a bath because he went right to bed from the dinner table the night before. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my late days back from work, so I always pick up fast food on my way back from picking up Bub, throw him in bed, and sit and eat my dinner. Since he needed a bath, and I didn’t want cold food, he got a snack when we got home and sat on the living room floor with me while I ate my dinner. We made it home just in time for him to watch The Little Einsteins, his favorite show. Seeing him sitting on his alligator pillow, munching on his goldfish crackers, and going through the motions with The Little Einsteins characters, I sometimes forgot to actually eat my food! Despite his occasional (and they really are few and far between) crazy days when I feel bad thinking I just want to lock him in a closet and pretend he’s not there, there are these absolutely WONDERFUL moments. And it makes those horrible moments just disappear. Of course then you always have those awesomely hilarious horrible moments, like when he got out of the tub, crying (because he hates to get toweled off, I don’t know…) and his hair which needs a major trim was all crazy, and he looked like Beetlejuice! I of course snapped a picture, like any good mom would do. But him being so wonderful the rest of the evening made this break down moment a good moment. And then to top it all off, this morning when he woke up and I picked him up out of his crib, he just clung and snuggled to me. Ugh, to be able to do that every minute of my day…..

A start to something new

So I made the comment on Facebook last night that I don’t know how other single moms do it, because sometimes I just can’t. It made me realize, that maybe there are times I can’t, but others can….and at the same time, there are times that I can, but others can’t. I wanted to share my stories, my troubles, and my life with my little boy with all other single moms out there! (or even ones who aren’t!) The life of a single mom is VERY different from what society considers “normal” families. I won’t sit here and say that we have it harder, because there are some moms with spouses who have 4 kids and rush around and go crazy probably just as much as I do! BUT, we can all agree….it is completely different.

I want to be here just as a voice to other single moms. Maybe I’ll say something that you wish you could say outloud, but don’t feel comfortable. Then you can sit at your computer and go “yes!! exactly!!” (I do it when I read other mom’s blogs) Maybe I’ll say something you completely disagree with, and I’d love to hear feedback. My only request is, please be civilized about it. There’s a way to express your opinion without being mean and using foul language. We are all different, and we are not all going to agree. It’s just the way life is. I want to share my good times, my bad times, my  hard times, and my hilarious times. I hope everyone enjoys reading what I have to say about my life with my 18 month old little boy (who will be referred to as Bub in this blog).

I’ll start with what prompted my thinking into this blog: my night at the eye doctor.

So I’m currently going through a divorce (have been for almost 2 years now, long story, maybe for another blog). The proceeding SHOULD be wrapping up any week now (or any day!) which means I will lose my insurance which is currently through my spouse. I am able to get insurance through my employer, but they do not have vision coverage, so I figured use it while I can! Now, I knew I was taking a risk taking Bub with me to the appointment, but it was easier than leaving him with my parents who are 20 minutes in the opposite direction. That morning, I was sure to stock my bag with snacks, one of those applesauce pouches (love those!), juice, and small quiet toys. I picked him up from day care and he was in a great mood. Gave him some juice to enjoy on the car ride to the eye doctor and we were on our way. Now, I wasn’t too thrilled about going to my appointment in the first place, being that I had a massive headache and was feeling the start of what felt like the plague (ok, maybe just the flu). And we had just gotten back from a weekend at the beach, which I’m sure he was still completely exhausted from. But I didn’t want to risk rescheduling and not having coverage, so off we went. It was a new doctor I’ve never been to. A nice open office that had all the eye glasses on display throughout, as well as a lab area, and then the check in/waiting area. I of course had paperwork to fill out being that I was new. So I sat Bub on the chair next to me and asked him what snack he wanted. He picked the fruit snacks, so I opened the packet and dumped them on top of a book I brought for him and sat it next to him on the chair. I think I had my name and address written, and he had gobbled them all up and was pointing down in my bag for more food. I had one of those Take N Toss containers (if you don’t have them, go buy them!! Cheap and FANTASTIC to throw in your bag!) filled with what we call “Crunchy Snacks”, which includes Gerber Puffs, those Gerber fruit filled cereal squares, and this time, some of the Gerber Yogurt Drops. He sat eating them out of the container very nicely….for about 2 minutes. Next thing I know, there are puffs FLYING across the room. Not necessarily on purpose, but he wiggled around in his seat and his shoe sent the container tumbling to the ground. So there I am, on my hands and knees reaching under the seats trying to get each little puff. I decided since it was more than likely not on purpose, just that he was getting antsy, he could have the container back. I told him to sit still and just eat his snacks nicely. Again, we were fine for about 2 minutes. Then he decided he had to pick up the container. Well, all of you who have young toddlers like mine know what we pick up a container filled with something, we don’t concentrate on holding it upright. I asked him not to pick it up, and set it back on the chair. I told him if he was done eating, I would take it back, but otherwise to sit and eat them nicely. 2 more times, we attempted to pick up the container. So I took it from him, snapped the lid on, and told him he was done. Yes, I knew this would create a crying meltdown. But at the same time, I couldn’t keep grabbing the container from him while attempting to fill out my paperwork. Maybe had I not chopped off my third arm, that would have been possible. So I dealt with it. I tried to give him his book, his binkie, his stuffed friend….we pushed them all away. I decided to just let him have his mini temper tantrum while I quickly scribbled down the rest of my paperwork. He wasn’t being too loud, just unhappy. After I took my paperwork back up to the front desk, I told him he could get down and look at the small display case that was right in front of our chairs. That got a smile. I asked him to stay put though. He enjoyed the shinyness of the display….for about 30 seconds. Then we turned and hightailed it through the store part of the office. I literally had to RUN after him, asking him to stop, using my stern mom voice. He would just turn around and laugh like it was a game. Finally caught up to him and picked him up. I went back to the front desk and asked if it would be a problem if I got his stroller to strap him in, as he was a lot more ornery then I had anticipated. She said the exam room was big enough, so out to the car we went. He wasn’t too happy with his new assignment to his buggy, but again, it was better than chasing him. And with the way he was acting, I was terrified to have him loose in the exam room! Once it was my turn, and I was set in the exam room waiting for the doctor, I put some cheerios on the tray of his stroller. Usually when he has food, he’s content. Being as quickly as he ate his fruit snacks, I was sure to put plenty of cheerios on his tray. This occupied him FINALLY. Until about 5 minutes into my exam, when out of the corner of my eye I see cheerios flying through the air as he whisked his hands back and forth across the tray. Sometimes he’d get one stuck to his hand, and rather than eating it off, or picking it off with his other hand, we’d just shake it violently. *Ping* across the room it went. I had to have apologized to the doctor 6 times throughout my exam. He was very kind, saying it was no matter, he was just a kid. Being that he said this with no emotion, I could tell he thought “this exam couldn’t be over quick enough”. But he ended up helping me pick up all the cheerios at the end. As I’m checking out, the girl asked if I was getting my glasses today. I shuddered at the thought of making sure Bub would sit still for another 20 minutes or so and desperately asked if it could be done another day! Luckily, I can go back at any time, no appointment needed, and get my glasses. Finally, some good news. I was out the door. Flopped him in his car seat, threw the stroller in the hatch, and climbed in my seat. I wanted to take a nap right then and there. But I still had more to do……plan dinner. We took the short drive home, and he happily pranced into the house, playing with his toys in the living room. I decided a nice easy meal of Campbells Bean Soup with some Gerber Green Bean Pickups for him. Those are a nice 20 second pop in the microwave, so I made those and plopped him in his high chair. He started munching away. I put some broken up Ritz crackers on his tray while the soup warmed up. Then I poured mine in my bowl, and spooned some of the beans and carrots into his dish. He immediately pushed it away. I know he likes it, so I tell him “just eat it, it’s good” and left it sit. I start eating my soup, and I see the dish start to fly up. But I don’t grab it in time, and there’s bean soup all over the tray. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I pulled off his shoes and socks, pulled the tray away from the chair, unhooked him, and told him he was going to bed. I changed him into his pjs and put him in bed. We had about 10 minutes of whining, and then silence. He apparently was more tired then he was letting on. I finished my soup, dreading drowning in it being I was so tired, and took a nice long hot shower to help my stress and my impending flu. Strolling back down the hall, a putrid smell wafted out of my son’s room. I had to wake him up to change his ridiculously messy, smelly, poopy diaper. It was like his last nose thumb at me for putting him to bed early. I flopped on the couch, falling asleep and thinking “it can only get better tomorrow….”